As a young person, I grew up in the care of the local authority.
During my six years in care, I had a total of 37 moves to different placements
including foster homes and residential children’s homes. As a result, I lived
next to many neighbours and people. In that time – enough to gain an impression
about what they think of kids who live in care.
I may of course be wrong. These are purely my own
thoughts and feelings on this matter. I suspect my view will be shared by many
other care experienced people though.
Some of the neighbours and members of the general public
were unkind too us, or just ignored or avoided us young people because they
presumed we were all naughty kids. After all, that's why we were in care or
lived in a certain place that the public knew to be children’s homes – wasn’t
it? After, we all know that children’s
homes and foster homes are places where bad kids are placed. They must be all have
been naughty.
I know there wrong, but how wrong are they? I can’t claim
to know the statistics related to children and young people being in taken into
care for being ‘naughty’ when I was in care, or perhaps I should refer to it as
‘socially unacceptable behaviour’.
More recent research suggests that only 2% of looked after
children are taken into care because of socially unacceptable behaviour. I
suspect that these statistics haven't changed much over the last decades. The
statistics actually show that 62% of children and young people taken into care
have been abused or neglected.
Some of our neighbours were empathetic and caring. They
welcomed us in to the community and took the time to say ‘hello’ and to have a
little chat in passing. It was nice to meet people like that, people who that
didn't mind us living amongst them, and who didn’t judge us. These decent
people never had any trouble from us kids that I witnessed in my time living
next to them.
Other neighbours presented as more the ‘Not the not in my
back yard’ lot. They didn’t mind children being in care – as long as they lived
somewhere else.
Some neighbours weren't very nice to us, or in fact were outright
abusive. Some called us names - Scum! Trouble! The bad kids!
Sometimes we took abuse from local youths, many of whom
were out later at night than we were as we had fixed bed times according to our
age. Some of these youths were far more feral than we were. They would sing 'Where’s
your momma gone?' Far far away!’ intended to offend and insult us - It wasn't
nice.
People didn't seem to understand or care about the damage
ad trauma some of us ‘care kids’ had been through. As if we didn’t have enough
to contend with, to get that kind of abuse from sections of the communities
added to our woes. They made it clear that they didn’t want us living next door
or in the community.
That is bound to have an effect on young people. I will
admit that sometimes we young people would react and do something silly. To
these unpleasant neighbours, that simply justified their low opinion of us and
their abuse continued. When there was trouble in the neighbourhood, they
decided that we were the perpetrators. To them, we were all villains, and all
looked after kids were assumed to have convictions. It seemed that other kids
who were not from care didn’t get into trouble or get convictions – only us.
That brings me back to now and the conversations I have
had in recent years with many people from all walks of life and professions.
Most of the people I spoke with knew very little to
nothing about looked after children and care leavers. Most were happy to listen
and learn – but not all. A few people just didn't want to know, or they paid
lip service even though they didn’t really accept what I was telling them. To
some, it was too threatening to their prejudices and they just chose not to
accept what they were being told. It seems to me that there are still some
people who seem to live in a bubble and don’t really care about others as long
as they are alright.
The people who engaged and listened to me were shocked at
some of my stories, experiences and statistics. Many had tears in their eyes.
Some cried, both men and women.
I have seen and met so many caring people, and I know
that there are millions more in the UK. They just don't know anything or very
little other than when a tragic news story appears.
How can we help the public understand more about looked
after children and care leavers in their community and nationally?
I'd say the majority of the public are caring but just
don't know enough about the realities of the care system.
Let’s give them a crash course. Looked after children are
like any other children. They have dreams and aspirations. They want to be
accepted and have a great future.
We need to help the general public understand that these
kids are often damaged, traumatised, scared and include some of the most
vulnerable kids in Society. They are children, not monsters or aliens. They are
all people and all equal. They need love and support, not hatred and suspicion.
Ben Ashcroft
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